Escaping is oftentimes seen as something a coward would do. Especially if you are a woman living in a man’s world, life pressures you to be perfect yet meek even at a young age.
Life’s pressure can lead us to venture into huge airports and buy plane tickets to foreign places. Places we prefer to walk through than the ones we thought were our home. Suddenly, the airplane continues to gain passengers who are still trying to find their destination in this world. This leads us to ask ourselves: is there even one? From Paris to Malaysia to Vietnam, Zara Carbonell, a beauty queen-published author-entrepreneur among many things, has expressed the unforgettable plane rides of her life and how they shaped her into building her purpose in her latest book, “Lost You, Found Me”.
“You live through many different lives as you watch the lives of others.”
One of the most realistic yet heartbreaking points of her book is the inevitability of growing up. This entails the permanence of change, which means losing relationships you once thought were forever. Your first love, whom you believed was going to be your last but ended with broken promises. Your close friend who used to update you on their everyday shenanigans, until these conversations and bonds drifted away. The wounds you got from your own childhood and family that never healed after all these years. You got better at hiding them from the crowd, and they are still unaware that the bandaid is being used for decades now. Zara Carbonell expressed these different types of pain in heartwarming and bittersweet ways. She showcased how our experiences as children shape and impact us as we grow up. Most of all, she explored the need to heal our inner child through our own perception of forgiveness.
“If there’s anything all those years of searching have taught me, it’s that “lost” is a state we will perpetually be in. And instead of battling for certainty and comfort, life is best approached by embracing it as it is.”
Despite all these uncertainties and excruciating agony, hidden underneath them are realizations that help us along the way. They give us the courage to face them and learn from them.
“I had to roll, fall, and skid along the way because there were things the world needed me to learn—and learn the hard way.”
This world never fails to show us the necessity of learning and how it is always harsh for women. Zara Carbonell has proven this not only through her own story but also the stories of the women around her life. These women guided her to become the person she is today. Why does this world hate ambitious women and forbid them from dreaming big? We get criticized for almost everything we do, and receive pain in return when we pour nothing but our hearts and soul. We start to question our worth, and whether it is finally time to adjust ourselves to conform to their needs.
One of the highlights of “Lost You, Found Me” is how Zara Carbonell portrayed the unseen side of beauty queens. People usually see beauty queens as graceful women who have picture-perfect makeup and amazing walk. They forget that they are also human beings capable of feeling emotions, like disappointment and pain in defeat. This book highlighted the understated tragedy embedded in almost-success stories. Victories that were so close to reaching but the stakes were still not enough. Many women can relate to the trials and tribulations of our author when she expressed these struggles in her book. These struggles include how we get dragged down and underestimated by the people around us.
“Yet the beauty of darkness is in the hope it inspires.”
But as women, despite being belittled, we always find our ways to persevere. Zara Carbonell is the living testament to this renaissance. We can see it in her well-deserved crown and successful organizations that empowered many. While Lost You, Found Me conveyed the harsh reality of growing up and the struggles of being a woman, it also talked about the beauty of unity planted in female friendships and mother-daughter relationships. These relationships shape us to become stronger and wiser, especially when we are together. This book showed the hope of finding light in the midst of darkness. Standing tall in the spotlight amongst people screaming different names, even ones that are not yours. The bravery encapsulated in bringing about change and inspiration in youth while wearing 7-inch-heels, parading your femininity even if it is deemed weak by society.
“Radical change is the ticking clock that pushes us to make big decisions.”
Now, upon finding herself and purpose in the most unexpected times such as exhausting plane rides and unfulfilled bucket lists, Zara Carbonell’s journey is far from over. She shed light on the importance of radical change, and how it can lead us to our destination in life. To say that we can learn a lot from her knowledge and experiences would be an understatement. Lost You, Found Me is not only a book filled with real-life stories and realizations but also a one-way ticket to places that her readers were meant to be in. These are places that are sublime for our minds, and ones that welcome us with open arms.
Before anything, Zara Carbonell provides us with the essential lesson of all. When you finally find your true home, it does not mean staying inside for the rest of your life. What do years of packing bags, getting your passport stamped, and plane rides among different avenues of life experiences give you other than lessons?
Wings. Wings that are equivalent, if not even greater, than the planes that lead us to the vast colorful skies. They give us wings to eternally grow, prosper, and rise dauntlessly.
We have spent so many years trying to break free from the cages that suffocated us, and now we no longer need to escape the world. Instead, we fly above it.
Lost You, Found Me can be ordered here: https://bookshelf.com.ph/pages/zara-carbonell
Written by: Kelly Bitangcol