Lost But Not Lost: Finding Love's Adventure in the Detours

Lost But Not Lost: Finding Love's Adventure in the Detours

Human. That’s what most of us are.

And because we are human, it has become the blessing of the universe for us to be constantly seeking. A lifelong quest, a pilgrimage towards meaning. It's a yearning etched into our souls, a question whispered by the stars. We seek connections with others, communicating and opening ourselves up, hoping they will be willing to learn the complexities instead of looking past them. Through this, we hope that once they are familiar with us, adoration and affection will follow—love.

The meaning we seek isn't a singular answer; instead, it is woven from experiences and the constant act of becoming. Similarly, love defies definition. It's a wild, independent force that blooms in unexpected places. It’s beautiful as you allow yourself to be another person’s other half. The most profound love stories often defy convention. They bloom and thrive on mutual growth, empowering your partner to find their own meaning while journeying alongside them.

However, this journey could quickly end its course, halting the plans you have crafted and laid out. You now tend to get lost in the state of being lost.

In Zara Carbonell’s “Lost You, Found Me,” she discussed how in the journey of seeking, we have the tendency to be ‘lost,’ and instead of shying away from it, we must “embrace it as it is.”

The philosophical quest for meaning often feels like a frantic search for hidden treasure. We scan over maps, hoping to find the one. For Carbonell, it took her years to navigate and heal through her heartbreak, but she also dared to face those she may have feared before. Relating to her experiences, you may also have a general idea of the outcome you want to reach, but the real magic lies in the unexpected changes and detours.

Carbonell recounted the time after her break-up with a long-time partner. Because of this separation, she was able to reflect on herself as a woman in her 20s and take control of facets of herself she may have overlooked before. In one of her stories, she admitted that even after being broken up for months, she still sought the solace of her past partner after a stressful and traumatic circumstance. However, in the latter part of the story, she could extricate the threads of her identity that might have seemed lost in what she once had.

Reclaiming independence in love is about gently separating your threads, appreciating the intricate pattern you've made together, and simultaneously rediscovering what makes you uniquely you. It's about learning to understand the beauty of the tapestry while also cherishing the exquisite yarn that is you.

How can you create your own independence from a love once shared?

Similar to what she stated in her book, Zara Carbonell was able to do so by regaining independence in love, which became a transformative journey of self-discovery for her.

It starts with reconnecting with yourself, your passions, and your goals. Rebuild your support system by reconnecting with loved ones and making new friends who share your interests. Prioritize self-care through healthy habits and activities you enjoy. Embrace this time as an opportunity to learn more about yourself and build confidence. This journey will make you a stronger, more fulfilled individual, ready for a future relationship built on a foundation of self-love.

This concept of "being lost" is inevitable in the context of love. We may find ourselves not knowing exactly where the path will lead, but that’s what makes it exciting. With open hearts and a willingness to embrace the unknown, we can embark on a love adventure filled with endless possibilities.

"Lost You, Found Me" by Zara Carbonell encourages and advocates self-love and self-discovery. The book serves as a helpful reminder that the universe is guiding you toward a treasure concealed along your life's path the next time you feel lost. Accept the unknown, look for the significance in the side trips, and let love lead the way on this journey.


Written by Leila Andrea P. Anchovas

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