“I looked in the mirror
And couldn’t find me.
And a voice whispered in my ear,
‘Let go of what holds you back,
And you will see.”
– Kalpesh Desai, Jasmines in Her Hair
When you look in the mirror, what do you see? Do you see the skin that encompasses your being? Do you pay too much attention to the freckles, the dark circles, the smile lines, the weight you’ve been wanting to lose?
When you see your reflection in the mirror, it is easy to think of the person staring back as a separate entity, someone you can stare at and scrutinize, and the reflection looking back at you has no choice but to take in all the judgment.
It has been said that the worst critics we can have are ourselves, and this often becomes apparent when we scrutinize our appearance. Such judgment is made even worse by the digital space that is used to peer into other people’s lives—how others present themselves as picture-perfect in social media, which people cannot help but yearn for. Trying to strive for the #summerbod or buff up with other #gymbros in the name of self-love isn’t bad goal, but when striving for unrealistic ideals that our bodies cannot realistically reach, we may be doing more harm than good.
Toxic diet culture can be found everywhere on social media, so much so that the content of fitness and wellness influencers sometimes holds more weight than that of professionals. Fitness influencers and self-proclaimed diet experts who are quick to post tips and tricks on how to achieve a quick transformation hold strong platforms that can be seen by thousands of viewers worldwide. Paired with the wide dissemination of social media, these harmful tips can mislead people seeking proper health advice and impressionable teenagers who may feel pressured to fit in the status quo of having unrealistic body types.
Amidst all this harmful information being disseminated, it is essential to remember that our health and well-being greatly rely on what we eat. Learning more about healthy consumption habits is a more effective way of changing our lifestyle than simply eating less. Our bodies rely on food to stay energized and function well. It is meant to give us nourishment so we can not only look our best but feel our best. And when in doubt, seeking professional help is always a better option than listening to hearsay.
Looking into screens or mirrors often leads us to critique ourselves more than we'd like. It is fair to say that we do this because we dream of seeing better versions of ourselves. However, how we achieve that can determine whether or not we are truly helping ourselves.
When self-love becomes dictated by restricting ourselves from what our body needs, it becomes an act of hate. Not being able to reach fitness goals when someone isn’t getting the proper nutrition can lead to a person resenting themselves for not reaching a certain standard.
In times like these, Kalpesh Desai’s poem Clear Space gives us the gentle advice we don’t hear enough. Real self-love is about learning to look past the critic in the mirror and listen to what your body truly needs.
By Keanah Angeli R. Andres