New beginnings define the spirit of January. We fill our journals with resolutions to hit the gym, to save more money, or to finally travel to that one city we’ve bookmarked on Instagram. Yet, we rarely discuss the resolution that often dictates our happiness the most: the commitment to understanding our own hearts.
Love remains the most universal human experience, simultaneous in its ability to confuse and delight us. We have all navigated the giddy rush of a first crush, endured the earth-shattering silence of a heartbreak, and hoped for the quiet, steady warmth of finding someone who truly feels like "home."
If you are looking for a book to start your year, something that feels less like a lecture and more like a late-night conversation with an old friend, Jasmines in Her Hair by Kalpesh Desai is the perfect companion. More than a collection of poetry, this book serves as a roadmap of the human heart, guiding us through the storm of infatuation and loss, all the way to the calm shores of mature, enduring love.
The book begins exactly where most of our own stories start: in the heat of the moment. Desai embraces the intensity of early romance without hesitation. We all recognize that feeling when we first meet someone, and logic suddenly disappears. The early pages capture that electricity perfectly.
This phase moves beyond simple attraction; it resembles an addiction. The poems here are sensory and raw, dealing with the undeniable chemistry that pulls two people together. It is the era of "Unspoken Desires" and "Safe Haven," where the rest of the world melts away, leaving only two people in a room.
However, Desai hints early on that passion alone fails to sustain a life. He captures the beautiful, dangerous blur of infatuation where we often project our own fantasies onto someone else. We see what we want to see. We ignore the red flags because the rose-colored glasses are tinted so darkly. As he writes in the opening pages:
“Those three little words that mean a lot aren’t ‘I Love You,’
They are ‘No Matter What.’”
This quote sets the stage for the entire book. It reminds us that while the fireworks of the beginning are fun, they aren’t the destination. The "I love you" is easy; the "No Matter What" presents the real challenge.
As you turn the pages, the tone shifts. The honeymoon phase fades, and the cracks begin to show. This section resonates deeply because it deals with the silence that grows between two people who once couldn't stop talking.
The book explores the concept of "The Void"—that strange, empty space left behind when a relationship dissolves. Rather than focusing solely on big fights or dramatic exits, the narrative explores the quiet tragedies. It dwells on the "Unread" messages and the "Broken Promises".
There is a profound honesty in how the book handles heartbreak. Instead of simply blaming the other person, it asks difficult questions about our own roles in the chaos. Did we love them, or did we love the idea of them? Did we stay too long? Did we lose ourselves trying to be someone else?
One specific piece, "Walking in the Rain," captures that cinematic but painful urge to hide our grief from the world. We have all had moments where we wished the external world would match our internal storm, just to mask the tears.
“I am sentimental so I walk in the rain.
I shed tears to hide my pain.
And whilst I cannot unbreak my heart,
I can piece it together, part by part.”
This section serves as a gentle reminder that it is okay to not be okay. The "Silence" and "Walls" described in these poems validate the loneliness we often feel but are too afraid to admit. It reminds the reader that heartbreak isn't a sign of failure; it’s simply a season—a harsh winter that eventually yields to spring.
If the book stopped at heartbreak, it would be a sad read. But Jasmines in Her Hair is ultimately about resilience. The middle section of the book acts as a bridge. It moves us from questioning why this happened to discovering what we can learn from the experience.
Desai introduces the concept of Kintsugi—the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with gold, making the object more beautiful for having been broken. This serves as a powerful metaphor for self-love. We often worry that our baggage and our scars make us "damaged goods." This book argues the opposite: that our ability to heal makes us more valuable.
The poems here encourage us to stop looking for validation in others. In "Self-love," the speaker realizes that loving themselves matters more than the games being played. It’s a powerful pivot. You start rooting for the narrator, and in doing so, you start rooting for yourself. You realize that you cannot find a healthy relationship until you become a healthy individual.
“Sometimes, our broken can’t be mended,
If we hold on to them like lost love’s token,
Long after it’s ended.
And we can do better the next time around,
When those pieces, we gather and mend whole.”
The final act of the book is where the magic happens. After the fire of youth and the rain of heartbreak, the sun finally comes out. But this is a different kind of sun—far from the blinding glare of infatuation, it is the warm, steady light of mature love.
This is where the title, Jasmines in Her Hair, truly comes into play. It evokes an image of peace, of simple beauty, and of coming home. The love described in the final pages is quiet. Grand gestures and screaming matches are absent here; instead, the focus shifts to sitting in a room with someone and feeling completely safe. It’s about "The Final Embrace" and "Serendipity".
The journey concludes with the realization that true love centers on safety. It means finding someone who knows your demons and stays anyway. It brings the reader full circle back to that opening quote. We finally understand what "No Matter What" looks like. This promise manifests as stability. It looks like a partner who says, "I see your scars, and I love them."
The poem "No Matter What" perfectly encapsulates this promise of unconditional support, contrasting sharply with the fleeting romance of the earlier pages.
“Someday, when we are past
The feelings of being trapped and caught,
You’ll know that troubled times don’t last,
When a rock tells you he’ll be there,
No matter what.”
So, why read this in January? Because as we step into a new year, we often carry the ghosts of the past year with us. We carry the "what ifs," the "almosts," and the "could have beens."
Jasmines in Her Hair allows you to put that baggage down. It gives you permission to grieve what you lost, while simultaneously offering hope that something better is coming. We learn that perfection is not a prerequisite for love. We simply need the willingness to heal.
Whether you are happily partnered, navigating the single life, or healing from a fresh wound, this collection offers a mirror to your own experiences. It transforms personal pain into something shared and beautiful.
This January, let’s make a resolution to be kinder to our hearts. Let’s resolve to look for a love defined not by the fleeting spark, but by the steady fireplace that keeps us warm through the winter. As Desai shows us, the journey is long, and the road is often winding, but if you keep walking, you might just find the scent of jasmines waiting for you at the end.
By June Carlo Catulong