There’s a saying that goes, “Hurt people, hurt people,” and perhaps that’s why some assume hatred as a form of revenge, to the extent that they’re satisfied from the need to hurt somebody because of it. Maybe, thinking at that point, they deserve the same amount or even much greater pain than the ones they brought upon us. Too much love can lead to losing ourselves if not handled with care.
Love believed and taught that we should not endure pain, hatred, and revenge; instead, love should embody happiness, joy, and memories that should last forever. To love is to accept that unfairness and bitterness should not be normalized after a breakup since it shows how toxic the relationship was.
Yet, although love is patient and kind, the question is—to what extent do we define “enough”? If there is, and we choose to let go of it, does healing after that take time? Will it be worth it to seek vengeance, or will it just create chaos?
Hatred and revenge often stem from unresolved pain, acting as misguided outlets for anguish. While these emotions might momentarily feel like justice, they usually perpetuate cycles of negativity and chaos, leaving deeper scars on both individuals. On the other hand, true love should inspire joy, understanding, and timeless memories rather than foster resentment or bitterness. A breakup, though painful, should ideally be a time for self-reflection and healing rather than a breeding ground for toxicity or revenge. Such bitterness only reflects the flaws in the relationship rather than its potential for growth or healing.
"Enough is enough" arises when love, patience, and kindness are met with consistent harm or neglect. Recognizing this boundary is essential for self-respect and emotional health. Healing does take time, as it requires one to process pain, learn lessons, and rebuild. However, it’s a journey worth taking, leading to inner peace and resilience.
Seeking vengeance rarely offers the satisfaction one hopes for. It fuels a fire that consumes the one seeking it. Instead, focusing on self-growth and letting go of resentment provides freedom and clarity.
Find Me in Your Photographs, a poem from Kalpesh Desai’s “Jasmines in Her Hair,” shows the power of forgiveness, remembrance, and treasuring the memories of a relationship.
I'll visit you again someday,
In memories that still hold sway.
You'll find me in your photographs,
Reminding you of those smiles,
Reliving our laughs.
Remember me when the day is done,
When the moon reminds you of the nights
When we were one.
Remember how I used to call your name,
On days we were spent of blame.
And those moments we've had, however insane,
Will no longer be masked in pain.
Because, when it was time to leave,
We chose to let go and forgive.
-Find Me in Your Photographs
This poem reflects on the past relationship, whether those experiences are painful or full of joy and happiness, regardless. Acknowledging those pain and joy throughout the relationship is a sign of maturity. The importance of embracing the roller coaster ride of experiences, the ups and lows, the hardships and conformity, lies in the growth and understanding it brings to our lives. Pain is always part of any relationship; it cannot be neglected. However, happiness comes after pain, and it always will. Being realistic and honest with yourself will help you along the way.
The guiding path and light of moving on will always find a way to reach and heal you, even when it feels unreachable. People tend to forget that moving on is not a linear process but a journey that requires patience and self-compassion. Healing emotionally, mentally, and physically takes time, and no universal timeline exists. It is essential to honor your unique pace of healing and give yourself permission to grieve, reflect, and grow.
Respect and understanding from others can provide the support and validation needed during this vulnerable time. Acknowledging the significance of the relationship while letting go of the pain fosters inner peace and emotional freedom. Moving forward doesn’t mean forgetting; it means cherishing the lessons and memories while allowing yourself to embrace the future with an open heart and renewed strength.
Love, in all its complexities, leaves a mark that shapes who we are. With time and grace, the scars of pain become reminders of resilience and the capacity to love again. Progress will always be over perfection.
By Jan Alec Almazan