“Love yourself.” Those two words are easy to say and just as easy to hear echoed back by the people around us. They are often offered as quick comfort, a simple phrase meant to lift someone up when they are feeling low. But when you turn those words inward, they suddenly feel heavier. Saying them to yourself is difficult enough. Actually practicing them, choosing to be kind to yourself, is an entirely different challenge.
All my life, people have described me as kind and gentle. Even now, as an adult about to graduate from college, I still hear it often. I am nice. I listen. I make people laugh, offer comfort, and stay beside them when they need someone to lean on. It feels good to help others feel better. But sometimes, I find myself longing to be something else, even just for a moment. When you spend your whole life being the nice one, constantly pushing your emotions aside, there is a quiet buildup inside you. A burning urge to finally let it out. To slam a door, raise your voice, or simply admit that you are not okay. But you don’t, because doing so might shatter the image you’ve spent so long maintaining.
There were times when I liked someone romantically and gave them everything I had. I wanted to impress them, to make them happy, to be someone they could rely on. I gave freely and without hesitation, never expecting anything in return. And yet, more than once, I was told that I should love myself more. That I should find ways to make myself happier, freer. At the time, I did not fully understand what they meant. I did not realize how much of myself I was giving away, or how quietly I was wearing down a heart that had already endured so much.
Even now, I struggle to choose myself over others. I try to be a little more selfish, but it often only shows up in small, harmless ways. I thought this was something I would always face on my own, until a book I recently read reminded me that this struggle is far more universal than I believed.
Michelle Dulinayan’s Em’s Big Heart is a simple story with a gentle premise. Told through an adorable art style, it follows Em and her oversized heart, which she repeatedly sets down so she can help others whenever they call for her. Despite being warned, she drops her heart one too many times, and it cracks. With the help of her friends, Em’s heart is eventually stitched back together, and she learns an important lesson about caring for herself, too.
Despite its short length, the book is sincere and deeply heartfelt. Its message resonates across ages, speaking quietly but powerfully to anyone who has ever put themselves last. If I am being completely honest, I felt close to tears while reading it. For someone who has let her heart fall more times than she can count, this story felt comforting, almost healing. The charming illustrations only add to its emotional warmth, like a gentle reminder wrapped in something soft and familiar.
This February, take a few minutes to pick up Em’s Big Heart. Let it tug at your heartstrings and remind you that loving yourself is not selfish, it is necessary. Your heart, after all, is still your heart, and it deserves care just as much as everyone else’s.
By Frances Arwen Samonte