Love– a word overused at times. A word we can’t live without.
I have observed that words hold meaning from the definition of worth placed in them, and the word “love” carries a heavy weight.
Growing up, I constantly asked myself, “What is love anyway?” it is nearly impossible not to ponder this question at least once in our lives. We all witness it in our upbringing, and even when we stare at the mirror, our images result from the love of people who lived before us. The question of love grows increasingly difficult to define, especially today. Sometimes, it feels like a distant reality despite being part of our lives.
So, still unclear and a bit disorganized, I decided to ask my dad what led him to realize that he fell in love with Mom. He said, “I just committed to choosing to love her; it wasn’t a mystic revelation but a choice.” I was pretty taken aback because isn’t love realized through feelings?
It was then that I knew that love is a commitment. Love is a responsibility because it is a choice. I guess that’s why it takes so much courage and a while for people to decide on it. Love is our ability to keep it close and to tend to it with compassion.
They say love is a verb. Maybe it all boils down to the fact that action speaks louder than words.
A phrase from a song by the Ridleys, “Love is all these and more.” What does this mean?
Maybe we just put a lot of pressure on defining love.
Although this song is about a romantic definition of a partner with whom one wishes to spend time, it relieves the pressure of our need to define love clearly. It helps us realize that love already exists within us; we just have to find it or act on it.
I found a poem by Kalpesh Desai that reminds me of the power of love and helps me further explain what shaped my definition of love, which constantly grows throughout the different encounters and relationships I have
The demons that hide deep within
Are released with each layer of shedding skin.
Those hurts and upsets we had taken in,
When we were raw and mellow within.
And as each layer of what holds us back sheds, ahead.
We venture anew, looking at the road
- Shedding Skin | Jasmine in Her Hair
Venturing anew. Shedding Skin. The notion of starting over and letting go—just how much hope it brings. That’s exactly what love feels like. To bring forth comfort yet, more growth is still available. Finally, we need to have the courage to shed layers of ourselves that we were once afraid to show and to release. To be raw and authentic without the fear of being condemned for it. To talk about the same things yet unashamed for the repetition of it. To unnoticeably let the hours pass by listening and finding worth in the moment. All these can shape the ways we define love.
Love is when my friends make plans whenever I get caught up with my busy schedule. The support from my family fuels my confidence, teaching me generosity and kindness throughout. It’s waking up with breakfast ready on the table, especially if it’s a food I recently mentioned to my Mom. The “I’m proud of you” messages and other supportive notes grounded me on the things I still wish to do. The ease in every prayer and the joy in trusting where life brings you. The phrase I encountered in my yoga class that says, “The divine energy in me honors the divine energy in you,” teaches me so much humility. I can now pat myself on the back and gently meet my emotions where they’re at. And these are all ways I find love in my life now. I know that romantic love isn’t yet in the picture, but honoring and giving thanks in my present time allows me to be ready for when it is time for me to have it.
Maybe we don’t need to define love clearly. Perhaps love is all these and more combined.
By June Danielle Folio