I am not a lucky person. I don’t think I’ve ever made a correct guess or perfectly predicted at least one lottery number. I never get something I want on the first try. There is nothing in my room that was once a raffle prize or an item from a claw machine. It was never in my best interest to accomplish things easily. For a while, I thought, I couldn’t possibly get more unlucky than this?
When I saw that the only class available for enlistment was a foreign language class for one of the most spoken, yet complicated languages in our world, the language was greatly gendered with multiple conjugations and other grammatical rules. It was phonetic, but also had letters that could be confusing because they had different meanings in the English alphabet. I knew that I may have just hit a luckless grammar. I was scared I was going to fail badly, knowing that I already had a heavy load and other commitments.
Aside from this, I was scared of the teacher. After all, difficult classes are often taught by teachers with intimidating teaching styles. I have been scared of teachers before. I used to be afraid of reciting because I thought my teacher would react negatively if I got it wrong. I kept questions to myself because I didn’t want them to know I didn’t understand what they said the first time.
As I read Gresson Peiffer’s book, Sharing My Light & Healing Energy, I realized that these fears were the manifestation of the inner child I had long denied healing for. I was an anxious student, and that was definitely a product of an inner child that felt shunned for being curious and imperfect. As I mentioned, I was unlucky—someone who never got things right the first time. Instead, I worked in secret, projecting an image that I was effortless in everything I did. In reality, I was struggling and afraid to be perceived otherwise.
Like Gresson Peiffer, I realized I couldn’t let my unhealed inner child take over my ambitions any longer. I didn’t want it to stop me from trying new things, like a foreign language that was challenging but beautiful in and of itself. While we both were unsure of where such a path could take me, at the very least, our inner child deserved to have their curiosity for the world answered.
That foreign language class ended up being one of the best classes I have ever had. When I listened to my inner child by being unafraid to ask questions or make mistakes, I found a mentor who allowed me to gain a diverse set of skills and a deeper insight into the world. The teacher was nothing like I had imagined; they were very passionate about the language, but still kind and patient even as you stumbled to speak or write. They dedicated a significant amount of time to helping us learn the language one-on-one, dedicating class hours to personally address us as they corrected our papers and provided opportunities for us to practice our diction and grammar. Overall, I became more confident and eager to learn. I was also able to understand the beauty of humility in unknowing and how it enriches the quality of our lives overall. I was happy that I listened just as Gresson Peiffer did, to know myself and my inner power better.
For those of us who are afraid of our quirks and find that to be a hindrance to our desire to learn, Sharing My Light & Healing Energy by Gresson Peiffer is a beautiful book to serve as a step into self-acceptance, healing, and self-discovery. If, like me, you’ve ever felt scared to leap into the unknown, this book may just be the light you need to guide you along the way.