Imagine, for a moment, a tale that you’ve probably heard before. May it be from your friends, your family, or a tale that you yourself have experienced. Imagine that you have found yourself in a loving relationship. You and your partner were completely enamored with one another. It was impossible to pull you and your partner apart because you wanted to spend as much time with them as possible. You tell them the sweetest of words, and your bed is warm with their touch and body. You have good days, but the bad days are especially terrible. Arguments happen, anger reaches a seething peak, and tears from thoughtless words are shed. A cycle would begin, the highs and the oh, so terrible lows. Eventually, the time comes for you and your partner to part ways. You reminisce about the good times, the bad times, the sweet nothings, and the awful storms.
As you sit and contemplate with yourself in silence, you wonder. Is this where it ends? Is that where you’re meant to be for the rest of time—wallowing in your sadness because of the past that you miss? What’s next for you? Are you going to sit there and let yourself go while the world moves on around you? In times like these, maybe it’s time to think about accepting what has happened, accepting that you are a human who makes mistakes… and moving on to greener pastures.
While perusing through the pages of Kalpesh Desai’s Jasmines in Her Hair, we witness the poet experience a relationship from the euphoric highs to the crushing lows. After the anger and regret-filled poems, we enter the “Serendipity” section, revolving around the wondering of where the poet’s ex-lover is at that moment. While the poet is thinking of them, were they thinking about him as well? Following that is the final section titled “Alchemy.” This section now tackles how the poet has moved on and found someone else while he betters himself as a person. Through all the trials and tribulations, he accepted that his past relationship is now only a good memory while his feet moved him forward to the next destination, to his newfound relationship as a new and better person.
Moving on is one of the first steps towards becoming a better person. Like in any media with a story attached to it, your arc is coming to a close with lessons learned at the very end. Finally, you’ve trudged through tirelessly, going through it all battered and bruised, and now you see the light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, with a new chapter in life, nothing comes about instantaneously. Still, there would be hardships, still there would be loneliness, but you chose to move forward, and that is already something to be proud of.
There are a lot of poems within Jasmines in Her Hair that encapsulate that feeling of finally walking forward after so long of dwelling on sadness. While you move on, would you wonder if they still think of you? Out of all the poems that I’ve read relating to this topic, the poem entitled “See What I See” inspired me the most. This stanza is what struck me the most, for it shows how the poet has fully embraced their experiences and is moving on with their lives.
And someday you will see
The purity I said was true
And all that had mattered to me
Was to love and be loved by you
The poet lets go of his past in those last words. Despite their paths separating, he still finds himself happy for the experience because it allowed him to love someone and be loved himself. Jasmines in Her Hair is a wonderful book that explores the realities of a relationship through the lens of a poet. Pick it up and give it a read as you walk down a new road, just like the poet himself, Kalpesh Desai.
By Frances Arwen Samonte