There are moments when we wish we had opened our hearts and minds more fully—stronger and deeper than we thought possible. Even if it means they might not agree with one another, because one could be wrong and the other right, it can still leave us contemplating what the right thing to do is. This way, we can be sure we did everything we could and cannot say we didn’t try hard enough.
In Jasmines in Her Hair, Kalpesh Desai displays the different emotions that love can awaken, while also describing the feeling of losing someone. Love is a powerful emotion that drives us to express our feelings to those we hold dear. Suddenly, we want to take care of them and spend the rest of our lives with them. We feel the urge to share our struggles and achievements with them first. We want them to know our feelings.
But is that really the answer?
“ Just because I could stitch it, / Doesn't mean it didn't tear.” (Just Because)
Committing fully is how we believe we express our love. From time to time, conflict with our loved ones is inevitable. Hurtful words may be spoken, deeply affecting our well-being. While we may reconcile and forgive, it doesn’t mean our emotional state improves right away. In fact, it weakens us and causes us to lose a part of ourselves.
“ For all the tears that you wept, / For all those truths unpleasant, / I've run out of alibis, / And perhaps forever is a fantasy “ (I've Run Out of Alibis)
We begin to wonder when it all becomes repetitive. The battles we struggle to overcome leave us with a deep sense of weariness. Each time our feelings are questioned, both our hearts and minds feel drained. Even our soul seeks rest, longing for peace. We run out of options to carry out the plans we once made with our partners, and we start to lose faith in the idea of being with them forever.
“ And maybe I was always there, / In my own way, / Expressing my love and care. “ (Never Enough)
Sometimes, the love we give is not enough for the other person. Even though we are giving our best, they might not feel it. They may not appreciate the hard work and effort we put into the relationship. We struggle to bridge the gap between the love we offer and the love we wish they would embrace. This is why love can be so frightening—no matter what we do, it might still not be enough for someone else. We may give our all, but they might still desire something different. Despite everything, our love may not meet the other person’s expectations or standards.
“ The change of seasons, / beckon the close of a chapter “ (Seasons)
Past mistakes and built-up feelings may lead us to the point where we need to let go of our lovers. Despite all efforts to fix it each time, we cannot repair a relationship that is like shattered glass. No matter how much glue we use, it is bound to break again. Is there truly no other way? Once we realize it is no longer fixable, we have no choice but to part ways.
Does Our Love Fall Short?
What we consider sufficient may differ from another person’s perspective. Everyone has their own beliefs, needs, standards, expectations, and unique ways of expressing affection in a relationship. These differences can sometimes lead to feelings of inadequacy, but that doesn’t mean love itself is falling short. The hypothetical scenarios that consume our minds, the uncertainties that were never clarified, and the doubts—some proven, some not—linger in our thoughts, blabbering, mumbling, screaming, and crying. We can only hope that, one day, these will come to an end.
Blog by Alleah Kassandra V. Dela | Illustrations by Carlos Sipin