“Her heartbeat quickens as soon as they make eye contact. His legs feel wobbly, almost like jelly, when he approaches her. Their stomachs tingle as if a million butterflies are fluttering inside.” When people encounter phrases like these in written works, there is an immediate association with a feeling nearly everyone recognizes. It’s a feeling that can lift someone’s mood for the rest of the day, or leave them deflated when things don’t go as hoped. I’m talking about the swirling, fiery, and confusing emotion that is love.
During my childhood, between action shows and video games that many would have deemed unfit for my soft personality, I found myself drawn to movies and stories filled with princesses. I was completely mesmerized by the songs, the dancing, the dresses, and most importantly, the happily-ever-after ending with a handsome prince. It’s abundantly clear that even now, when I think about love, I lean toward the dramatic and the hopelessly romantic. I’m sure that if I asked the people who know me best, they would agree.
Judging by how my friends and family react whenever I develop a crush, they would probably say that watching me is like watching the female lead in a romantic comedy. It’s theatrical, a little tragic, undeniably amusing, and full of heart. I would be lying if I said there weren’t moments when I wanted to burst into song just to impress the person I liked. Embarrassing, I know. Even more embarrassing is that I still sometimes think about doing it. Love has a way of making people do the wildest things, doesn’t it?
That’s only one part of my experience with love, but romantic love is far from the only kind that exists. Love is an ever-changing emotion that takes different forms depending on who we care about. This brings us to the many facets of love. Without getting too technical, these facets are often described as four distinct kinds.
Storge, Philia, Eros, and Agape represent familial love, friendship, passion, and unconditional love, respectively. When someone shows deep loyalty and affection toward their parents or siblings, that is Storge. Philia is the bond between friends whose companionship goes beyond shared interests, rooted instead in trust, loyalty, and lifelong connection. Eros is the love most people talk about, the kind fueled by romance and passion. Lastly, Agape goes beyond personal desire and leans into selflessness. When someone helps a sick animal and pays for its care simply because they care, even at personal inconvenience, that is Agape.
And yet, despite these definitions, love is never that simple. While it can be categorized, it is always shifting. Love does not remain Philia forever, nor does it stay fixed in Eros. It is an emotion that burns like fire and flows like water, constantly transforming.
It’s difficult to pin down exactly which kind of love a person feels at any given time, or how it shapes them. But perhaps that uncertainty is the very heart of love itself. To love is to feel deeply, to learn, and to understand.
This February, Bookshelf PH celebrates the month of love by highlighting its many facets through a carefully curated selection of books. Experience unconditional Agape through Some Bunny to Love, a gentle guide for children and aspiring bunny owners that teaches care, responsibility, and affection for a new companion. Feel the warmth of Philia with Em’s Big Heart, a short and heartfelt story about friendship, boundaries, and learning how to care for oneself.
Revisit the comfort and nostalgia with Sari-Sari Stories: Family Edition, a collection that explores love, trust, and loyalty within families through intimate and relatable moments. Finally, indulge in the passion and excitement of Eros with Escape to Love, where romance unfolds alongside humor and adventure as the characters dance around feelings they can no longer ignore.
Everyone experiences love differently, and those experiences shape how we express it. Through these books, and the writers behind them, we see just how many ways love can be felt, shared, and transformed into something meaningful for the world to see.
By Frances Arwen Samonte