“It’s not what you deserve, that you get, It’s what you’re willing to accept.” ~Kalpesh Desai
Life has a way of teaching us lessons we never asked for, often through what we allow rather than what we aspire to. This line from Jasmines In Her Hair struck me deeply, not as a passive observer, but as someone who has felt the idea of accepting less from things. It’s a reminder that while the world owes us nothing, we owe it to ourselves to set the bar higher.
Many of us have been led to believe that we don’t deserve more in life, as if the happiness we settle for is the best we can ever achieve. Many factors shape this mindset. It might be safe to say that these came from our upbringing, the pressure that society has on us, or even the temporary joy we cling to. According to the World Happiness Report, people around the globe rate their lives on a ladder, with 10 being the best life imaginable. However, achieving it implies that most of us stop climbing long before we reach the top, not because we can’t, but because we don’t think we should.
We might think that statistics don’t fully capture the complexity of human emotions, but they often reflect a truth we hesitate to admit. Many of us believe that we don’t deserve more than we already have. The real question we should ask is: What makes us think this way?
I’m not excluded from these thoughts. I often doubt myself and feel unsure about what I deserve. For me, life is something you live and deal with, no matter what. I was raised to accept life, stay within my comfort zone, and never dare to step out and take more. Perhaps others feel differently, but for me, this mindset has left me trapped in a cycle of inferiority.
One of the biggest reasons we often doubt ourselves is how we see ourselves compared to others. We measure our worth against their achievements, convincing ourselves we’re incapable of the same success. It’s inevitable to feel this way, and I’m no exception. A part of me says the same thing: that I should just stick to what I know and that stepping out of my comfort zone is too risky. I’m scared, uncertain, and not ready to try something new.
And yet, I dream. I dream of becoming someone. I dream of reaching that clichéd word, “success.” But let’s be honest; only a few truly know what success means. For me, success has often felt like survival. You just have to make it through. To be who I want to be, and perhaps meet society’s expectations. I ask myself over and over, “If others can succeed, why can’t I?” The question lingers, but the answer remains unclear.
It feels like playing a video game without a guide—no walkthrough, no instructions, just trial and error. The goal seems straightforward, but the path is anything but. Should I follow the steps of those before me? But isn’t everyone’s journey unique? Are we not all individually different, with our own paths to walk on?
On the other hand, even though we often feel less confident about taking bigger steps toward success, our natural instincts tend to kick in when faced with challenges. And I think that’s one of the best traits we have. The ability to fight off self-doubt through struggle. Once we overcome a challenge, we might look back and think it was hard, but during the process of solving it, we realize how much we would have missed if we hadn’t tried to face it.
This process is growth. At first, it might seem like development happens by chance as if life simply rewards us. But over time, we come to understand that we are the ones shaping our lives. We deserve what we choose to accept and what we allow to persist. It works both ways. If we let negativity control us, we’ll believe that’s all we deserve. But we can build something more meaningful if we embrace positivity and dream of a better life. Challenges are reminders, guiding us toward what we truly want to achieve.
It’s harder for people who suffer from extreme anxiety and depression. But for the rest of us, we often share the same struggles. If you tend to give up easily and simply accept things as they are, remember that there’s nothing wrong with staying true to yourself and embracing simplicity. However, there’s something powerful about expanding your dreams. Even if it feels impossible at first, trying is what matters. Accepting things for what they are doesn’t have to be the final destination; it can be the starting point for something new. To truly love yourself means giving yourself more, believing you deserve better, and striving for it.
By Graecia O. Avestruz